So Long, McDonald's???

Dear McDonald's,

I may see you in my rear-view mirror tomorrow as I drive on an adventure to find a cheaper Diet Coke. I have heard through the grapevine that McDonald's is no longer offering their $1.00 Large drinks. However will I afford my Diet Coke addiction? (Sweat, fear, anxiety, tears)

T-Man, you better have a good day at school tomorrow! Without my Diet Coke run, if you have a meltdown that will, guaranteed, cause me to have a meltdown and we all know how ugly a mommy-meltdown can get. I better be sure to take my "Big Girl" pill in the morning, deal with it, or search the couch cushions for coins to cover the extra cost of the McDonald's drink.

"Oh No, Orange Paci Broken"

Last night we went to Grandma and "Pa's" house. While there, we discovered T-Man's orange pacifer had a rip in it (Blue paci's are his favorites, but that one broke the day before). I very carefully explained to him the danger of using a "broken paci" and described how we were going to have to throw it away in the garbage can.

Grandma and I ran to the store and when we got back, "Pa" said T-Man just wasn't quite himself - he's still sick, however, after a few minutes he walked up to "Pa" and exclaimed (complete with hands on his cheeks), "OH NO, Orange Paci Broken!"

I think he had been grieving the loss of the paci to the garbage can all while we were gone to the store. He then walked up to each of us individually and explained to us what had happened. He was very concerned. We made a joint parental decision to attempt bedtime without a paci to see how he would do. He was so tired, we felt it would be a successul transition -- successful it was! Bless his little heart - he loves/loved his paci.

Week in Review - Is There Hope Among Chaos?

1. T-Man has a nasty, nasty, nasty cold.

2. Feeling helpless with another adoption. Nothing is happening at the agency. I feel like my hands are tied - like there is nothing more I can do to make this happen except wait. I know it is in the Lord's hands -- we saw that with T-Man -- but "waiting" is still difficult. This week we have heard of two friends who are pregnant. Happy for them, but it stirs up all kinds of emotions which then adds to the difficulty of dealing with, well, just dealing.

2. Moving T-Man to a "big boy bed" has caused a domino effect to the internal decor of the home; things from his room had to be moved to the attic and my office (2nd bedroom or hopefully a new nursery someday). To make room for the "stuff" moving into my office and the attic, the office and attic had to be cleaned out. Things I cleaned out of there had to go to the basement and/or our bedroom. Things from our bedroom are sitting in the hallway and have no place to call home. One day the house will look great. One day.....

The Domino Effect Continues...

3. Eric found a stray (or so he says) LARGE flat screen TV that he just had to bring home to love and nurture. Included are 5 surround sound speakers that, along with the TV, still need to be mounted on walls requiring the cost of an electrician, the move of outlets and drilling holes in walls/ceiling in our bedroom and bathroom. Did I mention it's going into our bedroom and can also be used as a computer monitor? Hmmm... can't wait to unwind and watch computer programing in action!

4. We are also now the proud owners of AT&T U-verse. This, however, involves new phone voice mail, new television channels to learn, the re-set-up of all the DVD players and Wii, new internet set up/network connections/email changes. As of yet, I cannot print which has put me behind in preparing my lesson that I need to teach tomorrow at church.

When everything is said and done it is going to be WONDERFUL -- there WILL be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Until then, it continues to rain and I am without an umbrella!

NINE

After nine years of marriage I have learned...

1. Marriage is not easy, but being single was more difficult.

2. There is nothing better than having someone to come home to who loves you.

3. Parenting changes your marriage for the better; You see a whole new side to someone.

4. I love the memories of our beautiful fall, autumn wedding day.

5. Sometimes you just have to vent about your spouse for your own mental health :)

6. Somedays you can't live with them, but most days you can't live without them.

7. Personal time is necessary, but together time is better!

8. Two is always better than one.

9. There are few places more serene and calm than the mountains of SUNDANCE, UTAH

HAPPY 9TH ANNIVERSARY, E-ROY!

Little Einsteins, I Owe You One

WE DID IT!

T-Man made it through class today with out crying! He did a bit when I informed him of my soon to occur departure, but stopped soon after. He wasn't quite himself today -- a lot of kids were sick at church on Sunday and so Eric said just plan on him getting a cold, which he might be starting. I gave T-Man his pacifer, his Leo toy, a character from Little Einsteins, and a picture of our family to put in his snack bag that he takes to school. I had to use "paci" and Leo before I even left the building, but something made it work and T-Man survived class without any episodes! He is such sweet little boy -- we could not have been blessed with anything better!!

We LOVE you T-Man and Tori!

The Hokey Pokey IS What it's All About

We actually got a night out together as a family and we went up to Wisconsin to visit with friends. Two of the kids there sang a song for the group called "The September Song" and T-Man led the group in a round of the "Hokey Pokey" and "If You're Happy and You Know It". Proud moments as parents! We got the Hokey Pokey on video - our hope is to one day show these cute moments to his future wife! (My video won't load -- I am hoping to figure out why and then I will upload the entertainment!)

Today was the Children's program at church -- Very cute, very emotional. I sort of had (okay, not sort of but really did have) a bad attitude about it all. I had to sit on the front row in front of the entire congregation with four - 5 year olds that can sometimes be a handful to manage. The front row is NEVER my favorite place to sit -- too tall -- I feel like others are looking at the back of my head. However, we didn't even get through the first song and most of the women had tears in their eyes already, myself included. There was just such a strong spirit to hear the children sing -- especially about the Savior. The second song was called I am a Child of God and if you were not crying after the first song, you were after this one; men included.

From where I was sitting, I could see Eric sitting with T-Man and they waved which started the water works even more. How blessed I am! I know I don't think or say it enough. I tend to let the little things get me down, but if I just take a minute and look into that little boys blue eyes, I see how the Lord has blessed me, how much He must trust me to put this child in our care, and how much He loves me. What a miracle T-Man is and what a miracle adoption is!

"Did All By Self"

The family room got awfully quiet and we found T-Man in the corner putting on "blue shoes". He put them on all by himself -- enough said!

You Can't Resist the Cheese!

"Ride car" sniffle, sniffle.
"Einsteins, ride car" sob, sob.
(yes, I am a terrible mother, I let him watch Little Einsteins in the car on the DVD player)
"Mommy, ride car" snort, snort.
"Door" whimper, whimper.
"Big boy bed" cries, cries.
Repeat, repeat, repeat for 50 minutes.

These are the words/sobs I hear through the locked classroom door at T-Man's "school". (They lock the door to keep the escape artists in -- T-Man would be one of those escaping.) Yesterday was his second day of pre-preschool. It only meets one day a week for an hour and 15 minutes - but those were the longest 75 minutes of both of our lives.

The beautiful scenario of dropping off my child at the classroom door, blowing kisses to each other across the room and saying goodbye only to come back and have him run to my arms and tell me all about the events of those 75 minutes never happened. He was fine before we got there, fine when we went in and put his name tag on, fine when he found a "schoo-bus" to play with, but melted down when 5 of the other kids came in kicking and screaming, sobbing, crying, etc. He thought he should then be a part of it all, he just forgot to stop!

The other mommies all left, even with their kids crying. I felt the peer pressure, so I left, too. I went to McDonald's for "medicinal" Diet Coke and then went back to the school to sit in the chairs in front of the classroom door and read my book. Thankfully I had the Diet Coke. The other 5 kids stopped their tears, but I could hear T-Man rattling the door and sobbing words of comfort; Einsteins, ride car, mommy, big boy bed, etc. I had even included his pacifier in his snack bag with a note attached saying to use only in case of emergency. This was an emergency - they tried the pacifier and even it didn't work. He cried from 9:05 until 9:55 with brief periods of rest. At 9:55 I heard one of the teachers invite T-Man to join them at the snack table. The cheese stick I packed for his snack did the trick!! He couldn't resist the cheese! The crying stopped, he ate the cheese, listened to the story, and probably just watched the other kids do "Ring Around the Rosie", but there were no more tears.

I couldn't wait to go in there to comfort him, hug him and let him watch every episode of Little Einsteins his little heart desired in the car. Talk about a heartache! Needless to say, I didn't read any of my book. Listening to his whimpers, cries and sobs was just too much! I think next week during his class I will plan on the "medicinal" Diet Coke run and maybe a trip to Dominick's for more cheese.

False Hope?

I had such high hopes that putting away the crib and setting up a "big boy room" was going to be a cinch. Not so.... I thought this transition to a "big boy bed" was going so well! But alas, I have been proven wrong. It took 25 times of putting T-Man back into his bed before he actually fell asleep the other night. On the 25th time, me being worn out, tired, and ready to just crawl into his bed myself, T-Man managed to soften the mood and make me laugh until I cried.

As I entered his room, T-Man had found his baseball cap and had put it on his head, backwards. Somehow he was able to locate one of his bedtime books called, The Completed Story of Hickory Dickory Dock and had climbed into his blue papasan chair to read it. As I entered, he had apparently been out of bed for some time since he was on the third to the last page of a twenty page book. Upon entering, I noticed he was leaning toward the light of his "fish tank" nightlight and hurriedly finished the last three pages before he knew the inevitable would happen; he would be returned back to his bed. As the words rolled off his tongue, "Hi Mommy", I laughed so hard, I had to turn around and leave the room. I had tried so hard all night to be strong, tough, stalwart, and unwavering to show him he needed to stay in bed like a big boy, but when I witnessed this, I fear all my hard work may have been for naught; I couldn't help but laugh at the boy.

Once my composure was regained, I reentered the room, returned him to bed, and basked in the sound of the light snoring of a tired two year old a mere ten minutes later.

Henri J. M. Nouwen: All the great spiritual leaders in history were people of hope. Abraham, Moses, Ruth, Mary, Jesus, Rumi, Gandhi, and Dorothy Day all lived with a promise in their hearts that guided them toward the future without the need to know exactly what it would look like. Let's live with hope.

Allan K. Chalmers: The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

Christopher Reeve: Once you choose hope, anything's possible.

Erik H. Erikson: Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired.

Molly Ivins: I still believe in Hope - mostly because there's no such place as Fingers Crossed, Arkansas.

A Second Year of "Firsts"

T-Man celebrated his 2nd birthday over a week ago - the big 2! This week has been a week of firsts:

1 -- We purchased T-Man his first "big boy bed" with cowboy sheets that match his room.

2 -- Friday he spent his first night in it alone and did great! He has slept in it for 4 nights (and daytime naps) without any problems -- we are sooo blessed!

3 -- He almost made it through the night without his paci (pacifier). Our little boy is not so little anymore!

4 -- Tomorrow he starts his first official "class" at the park district. It's only an hour and 15 minutes, but parents are not included! I hope mommy can survive his first day.

5 -- We took T-Man out to Walker Brothers for pancakes to celebrate being such a big boy and sleeping in his bed. We decided to try out a booster seat instead of a high chair and again -- he did well. He kept leaning over to Eric and giving him a hug and then a kiss which he then follows up with an "awwwww".

I don't know why the Lord chose us for adoption, but I am so glad he did!

Everything to Me - Thanks T-Man's Birth Mom!

Here Fishy, Fishy

You can lead a horse to water, but good luck trying to get him out of it!